Unrequited Love

Love, no matter how strong will always be inconsequential against time!

He never left her side, made her his only mission,

Woke up next to her,

Every morning with determination…

Their lives, perfectly entwined,

Her happiness always made him smile…

Her hopeless demands,

The never-ending fights…

He happily gave in; she completely defined his life.

This love became habit,

Habit that eventually turned into compulsion.

Rather than living with her, he started to live for her,

A million calls in the day,

And constantly checking on her at night,

This became such an integral part of his life.

But love doesn’t continue forever,

People leave, she was summoned early.

As he sat next to the deceased figure,

He still expected her to smile,

Life isn’t always decent, and habits take a long time to fade…

the phone calls will now be unrequited,

& her side of the bed will be empty, always…

He doesn’t know how to act anymore,

He doesn’t know how to survive anymore…

Leaving home is a task and coming back doesn’t feel right…

Times like these remind us,

Love, no matter how strong will always be inconsequential against time!

One of the many resolutions of 2020….

Now this wish I’d like to fulfill; so, it turns out that missy doesn’t really want things in life, but she is only craving for experiences.

Don’t give your kids everything, I am glad my parents didn’t! I did not have everything and that yearning resulted in doing better in the future. Today I am at a threshold where I am constantly fighting my emotions. As a mother I want to give the world to my daughter and sometimes I give in to her demands but then I realize what if I had not given it to her, would she go out and invent something that she really needs.

Well, it’s about last night. Missy these days likes to play the part of a doctor and to look more convincing she wears a stethoscope that is part of a kit that was gifted to her last year. Since she has broken most of the essential elements of the kit she is left with just bare minimum. I noticed the sincerity of her actions yesterday, she had safely packed the leftovers of her kit in a plastic box and she treated my husband and I like actual patients. Then I realized because she didn’t have all the elements, she used whatever she had more creatively. The small toy burner from the kitchen set became a BP machine, pen became a syringe. She anyway proved her point with whatever little she had.

I immediately thought of buying the kit for her and then something in my mind told me not to. Shall I give her everything that she wants, or shall I let her discover, create? I decided last night that I won’t buy everything that she wants instead I will make sure she uses a makeshift arrangement and when she’s ready to accept her gift I will give it to her thankfully. Also, last night while my husband and I were busy watching a movie missy joined us in between and got so inspired by the ocean and its inhabitants that she expressed her need to go to the ocean immediately. Now this wish I’d like to fulfill; so, it turns out that missy doesn’t really want things in life, but she is only craving for experiences. Last night I slept more determined and inspired. Determined because I want to stop myself from spoiling her and inspired because my daughter is the explorer that I always wanted to be.

This year will be different from all the other years, I have decided to learn from missy and not teach her anything. I will let her guide me and I won’t force my superseded thoughts on her.

Being Yourself

Be sure you’re happy!

To be at a place and witness it rise and to be away and witness it fall apart…. I saw it all, as I write this I know things are surfacing. The dreams are changing and the vision is broadening. The lies have debilitated giving clear way to the truth and its happening now and it somehow makes me happy. I no longer belong to that place but I am content. Most of what I write is ambiguous and it’s difficult for people to understand, still come to think of it, we have all been at a place like that. Haven’t we? The place that didn’t exist but was made to, so that people could find comfort in the lies while the deception could benefit some. I belonged to the group that could see beyond the stories, someone who would question the statements, who’d need constant affirmations on the reasoning.

I am happy at least I saw the truth, it helped me mature. This wasn’t the only place and there will be many such instances but I select to stick with what’s right because it’s difficult to live with a prickly conscience. I may not always climb the ladder and may have to step down once or twice but I’d only come back stronger and more alive.

So, for anyone who has believed and wants to, never stop. Your audacity will be abhorred, you will be one constant target, your dreams will be made fun of but again everyone dreams yet only some remember. Keep dreaming, and keep performing but don’t forget to move on and away from what pricks your conscience because when the day turns into dark what remains is just you and your beliefs.

Be sure you’re happy!

Belief does move mountains!!!

Rough Patch

My world came crashing down again

I realised once again I was betrayed

How, I didn’t know.

Why I had a faint idea.

I can’t afford to be a know it all,

The ball isn’t anymore in my court

I have been let down and I wish I could let them down,

The cycle still incomplete

I am stuck at the turnaround.

Move it, I screamed,

inside my head.

Move on, I cried,

Determined inside.

“You’re better than that, you always were”,

The forlorn heart tries to help.

But the lies too sharp

Gnawed at my heart

I was stuck, the limbs felt numb,

The reality harsh,

It really hurt.

I had met the sayers,

But the doers were dead…

They said something and did something else instead,

I understood conspiracies,

Once after they were hatched,

As I sat, all by myself.

Finally I started to solve the puzzle,

Every piece that fit,

Left me a tad more bewildered.

I understood the lies stacked,

And the people involved,

I could count them on my fingers before,

I eventually moved on,

I wouldn’t forget them or what they had done,

I will keep them in my memory,

Till their deeds come undone.

And when finally we meet,

I will look through them,

Like they never were a part of my realm.