Rough Patch

My world came crashing down again

I realised once again I was betrayed

How, I didn’t know.

Why I had a faint idea.

I can’t afford to be a know it all,

The ball isn’t anymore in my court

I have been let down and I wish I could let them down,

The cycle still incomplete

I am stuck at the turnaround.

Move it, I screamed,

inside my head.

Move on, I cried,

Determined inside.

“You’re better than that, you always were”,

The forlorn heart tries to help.

But the lies too sharp

Gnawed at my heart

I was stuck, the limbs felt numb,

The reality harsh,

It really hurt.

I had met the sayers,

But the doers were dead…

They said something and did something else instead,

I understood conspiracies,

Once after they were hatched,

As I sat, all by myself.

Finally I started to solve the puzzle,

Every piece that fit,

Left me a tad more bewildered.

I understood the lies stacked,

And the people involved,

I could count them on my fingers before,

I eventually moved on,

I wouldn’t forget them or what they had done,

I will keep them in my memory,

Till their deeds come undone.

And when finally we meet,

I will look through them,

Like they never were a part of my realm.

Despair

He was scouring it off his chest,

Scrubbing it sporadically,

Still the specs remained…

Specs of immorality, they’d just not go away,

No matter how hard he tried.

For once, love meant more than longing,

But the time was slipping away

His love wasn’t enough,

Nothing that he did would ever be enough,

She was rushing away

Leaving behind the memories,

That still felt fresh,

The lies that he concealed in the darkest corner of his heart,

Came through today.

Disbelief shrouded the love,

& every moment spent together,

Stabbed her heart,

The love that she thought belonged to her,

Was never truly hers…

As she finished packing the last,

He waited outside with his soul undone…

She walked out inconsiderate,

Disgust replaced the affection in her eyes,

She truly loved him once, but

He lost it all in one night.

Ⓒ Prakriti Kundaliya

 

Circle of Life

I have been running around in circles,

With no set destination in mind,

The world around progressed too much,

& I got pulled far behind…

Circle of life, Changes through the years, walking out of the past, bidding goodbye to memories, memories, past

While I waited to live, the life almost got over &

I realized the mortal I was meant to be,

When I stood at the crossover,

The traffic of insecurities jammed the heart,

The web of memories fogged the path.

Life needed a closure I realised.

Of all the weary mistakes,

I understood, I was still paying the price.

Acclimatizing was even more difficult,

The world brimming with youth, and me much older…

Every day I elude the unacquainted smiles,

I avoid the greetings made by the passer-by’s.

It pierces my heart, to know that I don’t fit in any longer,

I try to act brave but my heart isn’t any stronger…

The day progresses and then comes to a halt,

& the tears wash away the anxieties at fall.

I want to give up desperately and not get up at all,

I still force the wrecked carcass to crawl.

Why, I still pretend I ask myself,

Why doesn’t this wretched journey ever end?

Ⓒ Prakriti Kundaliya
Image Courtesy: Miriam Aroeste http://miriamaroeste.com/portfolio/

Heartache

It has been difficult to hold on & I am really trying my best,
But you don’t seem to care anymore,
Something has caused an unrest…

 We are like an age-old citadel,
 That looks admirable from the outside,
 We have been cited as an example, to the walls that are still being laid…
 Only our heart knows, what it took to be resilient.
 Only we are aware of the times we mended the walls discreetly…
 The rough weathers tried to take us down,
 Sometimes, we gave up on everything, but each other…
 For, that’s all we ever had.
 For as long as I reminisce,
 I always found you by my side….
 It has been difficult to hold on & I am really trying my best,
 But you don’t seem to care anymore,
 Something has caused an unrest…
 I realise you’re finally turning into stone,
 So that the walls don’t crumble away,
 I hope I can bolster our damaged hearts,
 I hope we can still find a way.
Ⓒ Prakriti Kundaliya

At my narcissistic best

I realise I am conceited, I have been told so.
I know my reality, maybe you don’t know.
My struggles smothered me,
And lies soothed me at a time when the possible was slipping away from my fingers…

Most of what I see is a mirage,
The reality obscure and imagination captivating
The diaphanous glass lets me touch my nebulous reflection,
It’s faint yet overbearing.
I realise I am conceited, I have been told so.
I know my reality, maybe you don’t know.
My struggles smothered me,
And lies soothed me at a time when the possible was slipping away from my fingers…
I don’t display much, and what you perceive is a lie.
My rules may be slightly outrageous and possession extreme,
But my life has been blotched, yours I understand is pristine.
Don’t weigh me on the same scale,
My worries have made me heftier.
I am better than you I believe, even though my wallet is emptier.
I may not react to anguish in the same manner as you…
I have learnt to live like this, no matter how crude!
Judge me, criticize me and call me what you do,
But remember that my world is my own,
& my feelings too!!

Ⓒ Prakriti Kundaliya


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Trying to understand my Baby girl

Poem on mother

I have so much to learn, she has so much to teach,

Her tiny grasp, & the world still out of reach…

She teaches silently, with eyes that shine like enstatite,

She notices everything acutely, she happens to have a keen sight

How her smile transforms into questions,

How she abhors what dissuades her, with apparent objection,

She’s not easy but intricate

Sometimes I read her like a passage and

Sometimes she is nothing less than an adage…

I wasn’t always strong, but she inspires me to be

She gives me that inconceivable strength

That only superhuman feel…

She trusts me more than I trust myself,

Makes me feel like I have finally excelled …

I don’t know if I was anything before she came,

She has added colours in the monochrome frame…

We will understand each other more,

As life unfolds itself,

Till then we’ll observe each other and try to comprehend as much as we can!

Ⓒ Prakriti Kundaliya

 

Stuck in Time

A manuscript, and a glass of wine,

I had lost the track of time…

Surreal moments, broken tides,

I knew there was no haven to hide

My tears dry,

The pain still sharp…

I was stuck in a time warp..

My make-believe world,

Finally collapsed,

My unclothed soul, stood,

Unadorned, unabashed….

The dwellings changed and the people too,

Some consciously remained mute…

My life came to a halt, and the

Surroundings were covered by the murky fog,

Limbs paralysed, eyes wide

The senses numb,

Nowhere to run.

This is a lost fight,

It won’t get any better,

I have lost the place,

Now nothing really matters…

I have realized now,

I can’t change the future,

My world challenged,

More pain will follow…

Now, I am collecting figments,

That fragmented in the crash….

I am saving as many,

To remember the moments that, once were planned.

Ⓒ Prakriti Kundaliya