One of the many resolutions of 2020….

Now this wish I’d like to fulfill; so, it turns out that missy doesn’t really want things in life, but she is only craving for experiences.

Don’t give your kids everything, I am glad my parents didn’t! I did not have everything and that yearning resulted in doing better in the future. Today I am at a threshold where I am constantly fighting my emotions. As a mother I want to give the world to my daughter and sometimes I give in to her demands but then I realize what if I had not given it to her, would she go out and invent something that she really needs.

Well, it’s about last night. Missy these days likes to play the part of a doctor and to look more convincing she wears a stethoscope that is part of a kit that was gifted to her last year. Since she has broken most of the essential elements of the kit she is left with just bare minimum. I noticed the sincerity of her actions yesterday, she had safely packed the leftovers of her kit in a plastic box and she treated my husband and I like actual patients. Then I realized because she didn’t have all the elements, she used whatever she had more creatively. The small toy burner from the kitchen set became a BP machine, pen became a syringe. She anyway proved her point with whatever little she had.

I immediately thought of buying the kit for her and then something in my mind told me not to. Shall I give her everything that she wants, or shall I let her discover, create? I decided last night that I won’t buy everything that she wants instead I will make sure she uses a makeshift arrangement and when she’s ready to accept her gift I will give it to her thankfully. Also, last night while my husband and I were busy watching a movie missy joined us in between and got so inspired by the ocean and its inhabitants that she expressed her need to go to the ocean immediately. Now this wish I’d like to fulfill; so, it turns out that missy doesn’t really want things in life, but she is only craving for experiences. Last night I slept more determined and inspired. Determined because I want to stop myself from spoiling her and inspired because my daughter is the explorer that I always wanted to be.

This year will be different from all the other years, I have decided to learn from missy and not teach her anything. I will let her guide me and I won’t force my superseded thoughts on her.

Belief does move mountains!!!

Rough Patch

My world came crashing down again

I realised once again I was betrayed

How, I didn’t know.

Why I had a faint idea.

I can’t afford to be a know it all,

The ball isn’t anymore in my court

I have been let down and I wish I could let them down,

The cycle still incomplete

I am stuck at the turnaround.

Move it, I screamed,

inside my head.

Move on, I cried,

Determined inside.

“You’re better than that, you always were”,

The forlorn heart tries to help.

But the lies too sharp

Gnawed at my heart

I was stuck, the limbs felt numb,

The reality harsh,

It really hurt.

I had met the sayers,

But the doers were dead…

They said something and did something else instead,

I understood conspiracies,

Once after they were hatched,

As I sat, all by myself.

Finally I started to solve the puzzle,

Every piece that fit,

Left me a tad more bewildered.

I understood the lies stacked,

And the people involved,

I could count them on my fingers before,

I eventually moved on,

I wouldn’t forget them or what they had done,

I will keep them in my memory,

Till their deeds come undone.

And when finally we meet,

I will look through them,

Like they never were a part of my realm.